Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Me time

If there's one thing I struggle with as a new mom, it's taking time for just myself. I breastfed Zoey for her first 8 weeks of life, and she was a very frequent eater, so it was literally impossible for me to be separated from her for more than 30 minutes or so. (Seriously. A quick run to the convenience store was about the only "alone time" I got during those days.) The one time I tried to get my hair done on a Saturday morning turned into a disaster. She wouldn't take the bottles of pumped milk I left with Aaron, so basically she just screamed for 2 hours while I was gone and I had to cut short my day out. That said, I really miss nursing and wish we could have continued that much longer. But anyway, that's for another post. Even when we stopped breastfeeding, I still felt guilty about leaving Zoey for very long...partially because I just didn't want to be apart from my baby girl, but also partially because Aaron was finishing up his Ph.D., and he was really busy. I always felt bad leaving Zoey with him when I knew he had work to do. So, all this to basically say that until very recently, I haven't had much time to myself.

I'm not necessarily complaining, because I didn't even realize I wasn't taking the time for me until Aaron said something a couple of weeks ago. A friend of mine had asked me to go out for drinks and shopping with her one evening after work, and I mentioned it to Aaron to make sure that he would be home to take care of Zoey while I was gone. He encouraged me to go, and said, "I feel like for every one thing that you do where you leave Zoey with me, I get to do 10 things. Take some time for you and go out and do stuff!"

Once he said that, I realized he was right. I could probably count on one hand the number of hours I'd been separated from Zoey (not counting work) since she was born. And 90% of that time was all because of Liz's wedding day when I was with the other bridesmaids getting hair and makeup done most of the day while Aaron and Zoey had daddy-daughter time. So, yes, I went with my friend that evening, and we had a great time. We shared a pitcher of beer and an order of wings at the Cay, and then made a quick run through TJ Maxx and the mall before they closed. Since then, I've had a hair appointment and an evening bridal shower sans Zoey, and I have to admit, it's been good for my soul to spend some "fun" time with other adults, not having to worry about bottles and diapers and feedings. (I still miss her every second I'm without her, though! I don't think that will ever change!)


  1. I definitely feel ya. I have some degree of mommy guilt about spending time on my own, but it's getting better. And being able to get out and around other adults and even other moms really does feel nice!

  2. I have a problem taking "me" time as well. Most of the time, my "me" time is being able to take a shower! :)

    I saw in the post below that your husband graduated from UND! Congrats to him! My husband graduated from their Air Traffic Control program in 2007. I went there for a year right out of high school. Some of our best friends still live there.

    I found your blog via Building Our Story. Small world, huh?